Letter to the editor: Confused about the Lisbon treaty

I'm sick of the shite that passes for debate on the Lisbon treaty.

Sir,

I need some help on the Lisbon treaty. Apparently we have to vote yes
or foreign businesses will stop investing in our country. They
wouldn't do that if there weren't good business reasons.

So could someone please tell me what exactly in the Lisbon treaty will
make Ireland more attractive to foreign investment but will not make
other EU countries equally more attractive?

If your answer involves phrases like "Ireland at the heart of Europe"
please keep it to yourself, I've read enough of that already,

Published a couple of days later.